Before diving right into things,
first and foremost, I would like to say thank you to everyone for all of the
love and support on my first post and the start of my new journey. This is definitely
something different for me as I am usually seen as quiet or not very outspoken
to several, but I truly feel like God is moving things to help break me out of
my comfort zone in order for me to grow and I am grateful for it! Now if you
read my first post (and if you haven’t, please feel free to go back and check
it out below this post😊), that I talked about how fear played a big
role in the delay of this journey to start blogging. The fear of judgement and the
opinions of other was one of those things that I feared, and that weighed on me
for some time because I knew what God was leading me to share from the initial
spark of inspiration, but the topic is not necessarily something that many
people are forthcoming in talking about.
It’s never really been a secret
or something that I was intentionally trying to hide, but it’s also something
that I’m not super forward in talking about and was not jumping around ready to
tell everybody either (basically leaving people to assume or draw their own
conclusions), especially in the society that we’re currently living in. So if
you read the title and have known me personally for a while, you could potentially
put things together and see where I am going with this but if not then I’ll
make it plain and sum it up stating this: I can’t relate to the societal norm
when it comes to love, dating and relationships for someone my age (I’ll be 25
in about a month and half, August 14th 😊) because I have been single my entire life….Not
just single meaning never had a boyfriend, but single as in no type of romantic
connection made with a guy ever (never been asked out on a date, never been
kissed… I mean nothing)!
A lot times people will assume that
with time and age comes various life experiences, and by the time someone is
approaching their mid-twenties, certainly my experience would not be perceived
as “normal”. I’m sure I can guarantee that I’m not the only one in the world
with this same exact story, but when you go through life and you see everyone
around you go through these life stages, while you’re still waiting for your
turn, it’s easy to feel like you’re alone in a bubble or have been left behind.
Now don’t get me wrong, just because God hasn’t allowed things to move in that
area of my life yet doesn’t mean I’ve been left behind or He hasn’t been moving; I am grateful to
say He has blessed me tremendously with a great life: amazing family and
friends, being an honor student my entire academic career with a Bachelor’s
degree and now currently working on my Master’s, started working full-time fresh out of FAMU
(SBI c/of 2014!!!) and can now fully support myself living on my own when I got
my first apartment at the end of 2015…by no means am I trying to be boastful,
but God has truly been good to me!
I’m going to wrap things up and
talk about this in more detail in some future posts to come, because I can get
a little long-winded (even when writing) and have a lifetime of my single
experience to talk about, lol! But I listed out all of those things out that
God has done for me, not to brag or show off, but as a reminder to myself that
although I may not have everything I want in life at this very moment, God is
moving me along at a pace that He’s see fit for me to go. Sure, if it was up to
me, I would have added experiencing love and relationship (shoot... even the simple
elementary first kiss, lol) to my lifetime resume, but I have come to the point
in my life now in my spiritual walk with God that He’s shown me if He wanted
those things to happen already, then they would have. I’ve realized that it may
not be what I had envisioned for myself, but God has allowed me to go through
this for a purpose, one I still don’t fully understand, but I trust Him and I
know that He hasn’t forgotten about me and knows the true desires of my heart.
I am at the point now where I have
faith and believe that my experience will turn into a testimony when I crossover
from being single, but for now God wants me to find the beauty in my story as
it’s still being written. It’s not an easy thing to talk about because in
reality no one wants to feel left out or behind in life, but I strongly felt
God leading me to share because through me sharing my experience, I could
potentially help someone else, not just in relating to singleness but to any
area in life where someone may feel left behind! We may not understand why God
allows things to happen but trust it’s all for a purpose! Just as a final word
of an encouragement, I clearly don’t have all the answers and my experience may
not qualify me to speak on a lot of things, but I will say don’t let the fear of
being vulnerable stand in the way of doing or saying something that God has put
on your heart for you to do, you never know who you could be helping by just
being obedient, including yourself!
Until Next Time & Much Love,
Ebony💜
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