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A Personal Reflection: I Can’t Relate to the Societal “Norm” #SingleSeries


Before diving right into things, first and foremost, I would like to say thank you to everyone for all of the love and support on my first post and the start of my new journey. This is definitely something different for me as I am usually seen as quiet or not very outspoken to several, but I truly feel like God is moving things to help break me out of my comfort zone in order for me to grow and I am grateful for it! Now if you read my first post (and if you haven’t, please feel free to go back and check it out below this post😊), that I talked about how fear played a big role in the delay of this journey to start blogging. The fear of judgement and the opinions of other was one of those things that I feared, and that weighed on me for some time because I knew what God was leading me to share from the initial spark of inspiration, but the topic is not necessarily something that many people are forthcoming in talking about.

                It’s never really been a secret or something that I was intentionally trying to hide, but it’s also something that I’m not super forward in talking about and was not jumping around ready to tell everybody either (basically leaving people to assume or draw their own conclusions), especially in the society that we’re currently living in. So if you read the title and have known me personally for a while, you could potentially put things together and see where I am going with this but if not then I’ll make it plain and sum it up stating this: I can’t relate to the societal norm when it comes to love, dating and relationships for someone my age (I’ll be 25 in about a month and half, August 14th 😊) because I have been single my entire life….Not just single meaning never had a boyfriend, but single as in no type of romantic connection made with a guy ever (never been asked out on a date, never been kissed… I mean nothing)!

A lot times people will assume that with time and age comes various life experiences, and by the time someone is approaching their mid-twenties, certainly my experience would not be perceived as “normal”. I’m sure I can guarantee that I’m not the only one in the world with this same exact story, but when you go through life and you see everyone around you go through these life stages, while you’re still waiting for your turn, it’s easy to feel like you’re alone in a bubble or have been left behind. Now don’t get me wrong, just because God hasn’t allowed things to move in that area of my life yet doesn’t mean I’ve been left behind  or He hasn’t been moving; I am grateful to say He has blessed me tremendously with a great life: amazing family and friends, being an honor student my entire academic career with a Bachelor’s degree and now currently working on my Master’s,  started working full-time fresh out of FAMU (SBI c/of 2014!!!) and can now fully support myself living on my own when I got my first apartment at the end of 2015…by no means am I trying to be boastful, but God has truly been good to me!

I’m going to wrap things up and talk about this in more detail in some future posts to come, because I can get a little long-winded (even when writing) and have a lifetime of my single experience to talk about, lol! But I listed out all of those things out that God has done for me, not to brag or show off, but as a reminder to myself that although I may not have everything I want in life at this very moment, God is moving me along at a pace that He’s see fit for me to go. Sure, if it was up to me, I would have added experiencing love and relationship (shoot... even the simple elementary first kiss, lol) to my lifetime resume, but I have come to the point in my life now in my spiritual walk with God that He’s shown me if He wanted those things to happen already, then they would have. I’ve realized that it may not be what I had envisioned for myself, but God has allowed me to go through this for a purpose, one I still don’t fully understand, but I trust Him and I know that He hasn’t forgotten about me and knows the true desires of my heart.

I am at the point now where I have faith and believe that my experience will turn into a testimony when I crossover from being single, but for now God wants me to find the beauty in my story as it’s still being written. It’s not an easy thing to talk about because in reality no one wants to feel left out or behind in life, but I strongly felt God leading me to share because through me sharing my experience, I could potentially help someone else, not just in relating to singleness but to any area in life where someone may feel left behind! We may not understand why God allows things to happen but trust it’s all for a purpose! Just as a final word of an encouragement, I clearly don’t have all the answers and my experience may not qualify me to speak on a lot of things, but I will say don’t let the fear of being vulnerable stand in the way of doing or saying something that God has put on your heart for you to do, you never know who you could be helping by just being obedient, including yourself!

Until Next Time & Much Love,
Ebony💜



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